Monday, December 28

HAPPY ADVENT AND MERRY CHRISTMAS

ADVENT/CHRISTMAS
(This image of Mary with our Precious Lord and Savior, Radiantly Luminous within her womb, is so powerful to me.  She is preparing for the most holy Advent of her Tiny Baby Boy, Who was sent to be born of flesh and to save the world)

DECEMBER 17th

Isaac and I are so joyful to have Madison, Savannah, and Nicholas home with us for two full weeks

Yay!!! We made it through finals week and now my babies get to come home and relax with no worries.......except which Christmas movie to watch first or what Christmas carol to listen to while we are icing Christmas cookies!
I LOVE YOU, MY DARLINGS

I get to bask in the fact that they are really ALL MINE for 2 weeks!!  I have missed them so much.  When they are busy at school, each day Isaac and I count down the minutes until they arrive home to see us.  The door opens at about 4:00pm, where 3 beautiful and tired children run in to greet us.  By that time, they are feeling hungry for a snack and packed full of entertaining stories about the happenings of their day. So, they eat as Isaac and I listen to all of the great school stories that they have to share with us.  Now, instead of school stories, their daily stories will be filled with family adventures

CHRISTMAS PAGEANT
Tonight is the Faustina lower school christmas Pageant. Christmas pageants along with other school performances are what every mother lives to see!  When a mommy gets to witness her children, on stage, all dressed up in church attire, praising God as they sing all of her favorite Christmas carols with their angelic little voices, brings tears to a mother's eyes EVERY time! Unfortunately, I won't be able to go this year because I am sick, but my heart will truly be with them tonight even if I cannot be sitting in the audience gazing upon their sweet faces
 Isaac even wore a super cute Christmas sweater to the pageant!
(my little man dressed like a gentleman)

A FEW PICS THAT DADDY TOOK AT THE CHRISTMAS PAGEANT
(Look at Nicholas dressed as a sweet Nativity Shepherd Boy...he is the "short" shepherd in the center of this pic)
(Here is Savannah singing with her class....look at choir of precious little angels in the background)

A LITTLE "MOM" NOTE ABOUT ADVENT
Advent is a very important time to prepare our hearts for Jesus' Holy Birth.  Advent is the beginning of the church's calendar year.  Because it is a new beginning, Advent is a beautiful opportunity for me, as a mommy and daughter of Christ, to purify my soul through focusing more on virtue.
(As I focus more on being a better mommy, I think of this image of Mary with Baby Jesus together. Mary is just being a mommy of her Son, holding Him up lovingly, as she shows Him things that amaze His innocent Eyes, as every mommy does......but unlike ANY other mommy, she loves her Son Jesus, with a love that is totally self-LESS and pure.  I pray to be a mother like she is)

HOUSE CONSTRUCTION
OH....I forgot to mention that Jeremy and I are adding onto our house in preparation for our new little baby girl, Gracie Ann.  We love our house, and it has lots of room BUT the room is just in the wrong places and Jeremy and I prayerfully decided not to move, but instead to make changes that will make life easier for our ever-growing family,  bringing peace to our everyday lives.
Right now, our entire house is torn up, therefore our daily routine has been very uncertain and totally insane.....Some days I think that we must be crazy taking on this addition with everything else life has thrown our way recently, but Jeremy and I can do anything if we do it together with the strength of our Lord.....we have proven that so many times.....and this project is no different.  Yikes!! Talk about an opportunity to grow in virtue right now!!
I just need to make it a full-time job.....practicing patience with the family!



The three older kids are bunking together in the family room right now, as most of the upstairs has been blocked off...luckily Isaac's nursery is downstairs at the opposite end of the house as the construction
 (I do love that they are all "camping out" together.....it's so much fun)

DECEMBER 24th

CHRISTMAS TIME

Look at this sweet little St. Nick suit that my friend Rhonda gave to me.....Isaac made us laugh so much when he had it on....He LOVED that we were laughing and clapping as he performed for us in front of our make-shift Christmas tree!  This little one filled us with so much joy!

SOME CHRISTMAS TIME HAPPINESS

(Matching sweaters with my True Love, Jeremy was just the best...I love matching with this handsome man, who I get to be married to forever!! I loved this so much that I formulated a plan for Jeremy and I to live out each day of our twighlight years in matching attire)
(Nicholas giving sweet kisses to his best friend Grady.....they just don't know that they are best friends yet)
(Cuddling up by the roaring fire to watch Christmas movies together)

DECEMBER 25th

 (A table full of my loved ones....sharing a Christmas feast together at my Mom and Dad's house...followed by our long time Christmas family tradition of gathering together and reading the nativity from the Gospel of Luke, followed by joyfully singing happy birthday to Baby Jesus, as we enjoy some yummy birthday cake.....Angel-Food cake, of course)

OPENING PRESENTS
I get so excited, even giddy, watching my family and friends unwrap the special gifts that I carefully chose just for them....I love to see the joy on their faces, when their gift brings them true happiness
 (Isaac totally loved opening his fun new toys.....he would unwrap one and just start playing with it immediately....Isaac only had a couple of gifts to open, but his gift opening lasted almost all day, as he stopped to enjoy every toy thoroughly before opening up the next surprise!  What a beautiful innocence and child-like gratefulness he possesses)
 I pray that my children look back on Christmas and realize all of the blessings that they have been showered with by our God, a God who delights in showering His children beyond what we could ever deserve
My sweet Nicholas
 My sweet Savannah
My sweet Madison

Madison was our first child to realize that after Christmas Mass was attended, Christmas dinner had filled our bellies and now the food was already placed into tupperware for safe storage, and the beautifully wrapped gifts had been opened,  that there was a feeling of a letdown.  This blessing that opened Madi's eyes, was the perfect opportunity to talk to all of the kids about another aspect of Heaven.
Material things and events of this world will aways fall short of our expectations, as our soul is disordered with a skewed view of what it means to be fully satisfied.  We will only feel filled with satisfaction when we are in Heaven with Jesus.  Everything on earth will always fall short of the perfect love and pure happiness that awaits us in heaven

DECEMBER 27th

After a Christmas day of 70 degree weather, we even had a little bit of snow AND hail....so, no snowmen or snowball fights outside, but the kids loved it anyway!  God totally spoils His children
(This pic was taken by Jeremy in the passenger's seat of the jeep, as Madison drove him to downtown Ft Worth in a snow and hailstorm....Yikes!!!)

God bless my sweet Jeremy....aka, our Daddy, who loves his daughter Madison so much, that he takes his time to give her as many driving situations as possible, under his watchful eye, patiently coaching her through every maneuver....well, maybe NOT so much PATIENTLY.....but LOVINGLY, for sure.  She will be well prepared to face the roads on her own in a little over a month...but will her mommy heart be prepared ?!?!)

These days of Christmas break are melting away so fast.....and regular life will be commencing in seemingly minutes! 
I want to fully enjoy EVERY minute.

Lord Jesus, please help me to stop and just enjoy everything more intensely, with no earthly distractions preventing me from being "present" in the moment.

Thank You, Jesus for all that You have taught us and how You are using this time away from our normal life to form our hearts into ones of purity and true charity.....so that our hearts delight You as You watch them evolve into what they were truly created to be.  Help us to grow in purity and charity of heart

Tuesday, December 15

GOD IS REFINING ME INTO SOMETHING MORE PRECIOUS THAN I AM RIGHT NOW

To my dear children...Madison, Savannah, Nicholas, Isaac, and Gracie Ann

(I feel convicted to write down some lessons that I am learning as I journey through life, so that you can look back at them and really know your mommy's heart)

I have always prayed first and foremost, before all else, for God to transform me into something that gives Him true delight!

In the conversations that I've shared with each of you in the past few weeks....this question seems to be burdening your delicate hearts.  Please allow me to express what I have been inspired with, through prayer about your concerns

Suffering seems so hard and pointless at times, my sweet babies (but ONLY to the world)  Suffering is the most valuable refining that a soul can experience.  I promise you this!  Jesus could have redeemed every soul on earth with the simple snap of His Mighty Fingers, BUT He did not...He chose to suffer as an example to us of how we will grow in holiness.

EVERYONE has suffering.  Even more amazing is that....everyone has the suffering that Christ custom made just for them.  Nobody's suffering is harder or easier...because it is the PERFECT suffering for that soul!
(This sounds odd as you look at the pain that people are experiencing all around this world)

Take comfort in knowing that Jesus has promised that along with your customized cross, you will receive ABSOLUTELY EVERY GRACE that you need to carry it!!  It is NOT our strength but His.....remember that He is a perfect Father....as He will NEVER forsake you...but He is also a perfect Gentleman......so nor will He EVER force Himself upon you!
(Don't ever turn away from His graces and always continue to ask Jesus for those special graces that He has waiting for you)

We have to ask for the Graces that He has ready for us....please don't ever forget that, and please take rest and comfort knowing that you will NEVER be given more than you can handle....Better yet....you will never be given more than CHRIST can handle.....for He is waiting for you to lay all of your burdens down at His Precious Feet.
What mom and Jesus have been discussing.....
(Well....He's doing most of the talking as I TRY and stay quiet enough to listen)

(Oh my goodness, my little ones.....Jesus continues to amaze me time after time.... a lot of my conversations are private but some I feel called to share with you.....I love you)

Dear Jesus...I beg of you to love me as I am.....BUT too much to leave me this way.  I feel You working in my soul as the most gifted Refiner.  You place an ordinary rock into a fiery furnace to purify it and transform it into a most precious stone
For precious stones are hidden inside of ordinary rocks, but it is only after these ordinary rocks are stripped of all of their impurities, that their true brilliance can shine through.
Jesus, You know me through and through, and You know what impurities covers the true greatness that is, Your Own Image, radiating from inside of me.

MY RECENT REVELATION ABOUT MYSELF
The value that I give to myself has always been rather worldly.  I am a devout Catholic Christian, a mom, a wife, a sister, a daughter, a friend, a volunteer, a homemaker....all of these vocations and callings are titles that I have associated with myself.  I have worn these titles, thinking that through them, I could please my Lord, by honoring Him and leading others to Him.  I fall short of this duty often, but try to get back up and fulfill my calling as a daughter of Christ.

In my conversations with Him, He has given me tools to help me fulfill this calling and He has given me consolation that He is pleased when I follow Him with my entire heart.

AN EVOLUTION IN MY JOURNEY
I have been called to a new chapter now....one, that in my humanness, I did not expect, but as my eyes are SLOWLY opening....seems very fitting (did I ever doubt that He knows best...)

Through prayer.....MUCH fervent prayer, begging for understanding, I am (only just) beginning to absorb all that He is revealing to His little girl.....me.
Jesus, You are great and mighty and you are stripping me of my earthly identity.  I have recently pondered why I have been seemingly called away from my vocations....The vocations that I THOUGHT pleased You most.  I have been unable to fulfill what I saw as my mission...at first I saw this "cross of inability" as a special temporary sacrifice and a refocus on quiet time and prayer......and it was, but now I see more of the complete picture.
You are purifying my soul of pride.  
I know that all of the good that I do is You working through me.  It was NEVER me at all.....but there is a definite joy attached to pleasing You, of course, as well as a joy that is attached to pleasing You, through other people.  Sometimes our human temptation can turn these joys into a sort of pride.
 If I am to have a completely purified soul, I have to allow myself to be freed from this temptation.

As I sit (day after day....month after month) in need of help from everyone around me....especially my family, I am being humbled further and further until by earthly standards, I am not very valuable anymore.  It seems that when things start to turn up and my old life glimmers on the horizon, it is short-lived and I return to my neediness.
I pleaded with You for direction in this suffering. I asked You if my children would remember me being able to be an active and energetic mommy.  Will they remember me leading groups that they are involved in, volunteering at their school, even homeschooling them?  Will they remember me chasing them around the yard, playing active games with them, carrying them around?  Will they remember me taking them places, throwing them birthday parties, surprising them with their favorite meal or with a visit to a favorite place of theirs? Even more so, will they remember a time when they were got to be the complete focus.....and that what they could or could not do, did not ALWAYS HINGE on me and my limitations?
Lord, will they remember being the center of my attention?  Will they remember me serving others instead of always being served?
Oh Jesus, I have promised to give You all that You ask for, at ANY cost.  So many times, I have felt that I had come close to fulfilling a specific mission for You and then You call me to walk with You still further.
As I grab onto Your beautiful Hand, I am honored and I "will" myself to offer to go, as far as You "will" for me to go.
As You mercifully reveal to me, glimpses of Your plan, I am able to see You gently and slowly (as a loving Father always does) stripping away my earthly value and completely humbling me enough to see that my true value lies in Your beautiful Eyes.

I am called a wife, a mother, a daughter and a friend in this world, and I will continue to glorify You through all of these vocations
But the way that I define "glorify" is human and the way that You define "glorify" is truly divine...... Please help me to glorify You as YOU define it...not me
(please Lord, help me to be better at glorifying You as I am struggling with holiness)

These earthly titles are only subheadings to the title of my entire existence......my TRUE and eternal title.......Yours
I am Yours
However You want me....however You see me....whatever You will for me
I am Yours

My five precious little darlings....You are His
That is all...........and that is absolutely everything!

Don't place an earthly value on your invaluable soul.  Jesus Christ loves you and He created you just the way that He wanted you.  Even if you do not understand your sufferings or why He is leading you in a certain direction.....Just Will yourself to follow.....Always follow Him even if you are following Him blindly, because honesty, no matter how much we think that we see.....in our human-ness, we really do not see even a slightest portion of the truth

How will you know if you are truly following Him?
Perceiver in prayer and practice
Pray fervently and practice your faith always.  The benefits are not always tangible but are always promised

Jesus, I Trust in You
Love, mom

Monday, December 14

GRACIE ANN

GRACIE ANN'S SWEET LITTLE FOOT

Gracie Ann was moving around so much during my sonogram that we could not get a clear picture of her precious face.....We did get this pic of her little foot though.
I couldn't help but share this
21 weeks along.......how precious this little life inside of me is!

Thursday, December 10

ISAAC LOVES CHICKEN SOUP

ISAAC LOVES CHICKEN SOUP

I was going too slow and when I turned my head to help Nicholas with something....Isaac started eating it by himself!

It was a messy dinner but I wouldn't have traded this for the world!
This simple meal time duty turned out to be the best part of my day......I love how God does that!
Dear Jesus....Thank you for my baby boy and all five of my precious children