GRACIE ANN'S NEW HAT

Dear Gracie Ann,

You look so pretty today (as you do everyday)  It pleased me so much to see your eyes open this evening.  You are beautiful and perfect.  Thank you for allowing me to capture this moment, as this picture exemplifies all that is Miss Gracie!

This is Gracie Ann in her new hat.

She got it at her hematology appointment today

There is a sweet lady who makes these baby hats for the little children who are patients of Dr Johnson. What a beautiful and lovely gift to give to these sick little ones.....

And by the way.....even though this particular little angel does not even understand what a gift is, or even what a HAT is.....it sure does make her mommy's heart beat in total gratitude for the kindness that surrounds us....It was truly the hug from Jesus that this mommy needed today.

I love you my Little Pumpkin and so does Jesus

Love,

mom

PREPARING FOR JESUS HAPPY ADVENT

PREPARING OUR HEARTS FOR THE BIRTHDAY OF BABY JESUS

HAPPY ADVENT

Our house is now officially adorned with lights and decorations in preparation for the BIGGEST birthday party of the year!  Our sweet Little Lord Jesus deserves nothing less than the most beautiful and amazing celebration that our world has to offer!

Our family tradition is to decorate the house as we watch the Macy's Day Parade on the TV (muted) while we listen to our own Christmas music playlist, flooding our house with joyous cheer!  Everybody starts out a little shy (except of me...I love singing Christmas songs), but by the 3rd Christmas carol, Jeremy, and all of the kids are singing along, as we hang the wreaths, fluff the garland, and trim the tree.

One of my favorite things to do during Advent and into the Christmas season, is to sit in my family room at night with no lights on except our Christmas tree (and the fireplace, which illuminates our Christmas stockings)  It warms my child-like heart so much and I actually feel our Lord's Holy Presence in a kind of visibly and almost tangible way

One thing that makes this very special moment a lot sweeter is when I get to sit in my family room snuggling up to my very best friend and my lifelong love, Jeremy, enjoying the ambience together

(Look at ALL of those stockings!!  I cannot believe that there are SEVEN!  How blessed we are)

(How my heart danced with thanksgiving as Jeremy struggled to make them all fit under the mantle of our fireplace)
Now I am just bragging about my children and I apologize

Our Christmas tree remains lit even throughout the daytime as it brings us so much joy, simply just by looking at it. In fact when we homeschooled, we would gather around the tree to say our morning prayers and our Rosary together.  Boy, do I miss having my kids home with me all day long.  I loved and I miss our homeschool life

 Unfortunately, last year we were unable to decorate for Christmas, which really wore heavy on our hearts, as it was a constant reminder of the stresses that our family was facing.  As much as we tried to focus on preparing our hearts through family prayer time and Advent reflections, we struggled to get passed the absence of the beautiful and eye-pleasing decor.

Jesus gifted us with our most precious five senses, to be able to fully experience our amazing faith throughout the Liturgical year, both spiritually and physically.  He is all knowing......for our human-ness yearns to "feel" God using each different sense. 

Isaac LOVES baby Jesus (all of us do) so the children have always had their OWN Nativity that they could reach and touch
 
(Isaac kissing Baby Jesus...he even gives baby Jesus rides on his toy fire engine.....what a delight little Isaac is to our Lord)

It is not always His Will, though to allow us to experience Him with all five senses, as the definition of faith is a "Belief based solely on spiritual apprehension, rather than physical proof" (Doubting Thomas)

"They told him, "We have seen the Lord!" But he replied, "I won't believe it unless I see the nail wounds in His Hands, put my fingers into them, and place my hand into the wound of His Side."
(John 20:25)

  Last year's lack of decor was surly a most beautiful sacrifice that our hearts gained so much strength from, but now that our Lord has allowed a time of new life for our family, this year we pulled out all of stops for a truly Royal Celebration for our New Born King.

This beautiful statue of Jesus sits on the coffee table.  Very often I will find that the children have put little gifts in His crib with Him, or have covered Him up with their special blanket to keep Him warm

A couple of years ago, I finally bought a Grand Nativity Scene that proves to be more glorifying to our Royal King.  
Our little Nativity has always been very pleasing, but I felt like our Nativity Scene needed to be the most resplendent of Christmas decor

This now adorns our dining room table and is the first thing that you see as you enter our home

SOME OTHER DECOR AROUND OUR HOME
(Mainly so that next year I can refer to this blog post and remember where everything goes)

Our Advent house as we count down the days until the big Birthday Celebration.  All of our children from oldest to youngest look forward to opening each door as the most blessed day moves closer

It looks similar to the Advent house that I grew up with

St. Nicholas does make an appearance on our kitchen table with some bells, hanging from the chandelier

I will share just one more pic, so as not to bore you....I love all of the color and sparkle around our home
When it is time to take the Christmas decor down (on the Feast of the Epiphany) our house looks so Barren

OUTDOOR LIGHTS 

Last year we could not decorate outside either, so we were the grinches of the entire neighborhood!  So, this year we made up for it with a big lights display.....maybe a little too bright, but the kids love it and hopefully it brings joy to all who pass by our home at night

THANK YOU JESUS FOR THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!

May this Advent be fruitful and joyous in your soul

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR MOST PRECIOUS LORD JESUS CHRIST.....KING OF ENDLESS GLORY

I love you Jesus with all of my heart and I will forever Praise You for all of the blessings that you have so lovingly and mercifully bestowed on all of us
Love,
kerry ann

THE BEST THANKSGIVING/MY DADDY

MY DADDY

("The Photo Booth"...The selfie of the 80's)

I've never made it a secret that I've always been a "daddy's girl."  My daddy and I even look alike!  

Growing up my daddy and I shared lots of silly traditions and funny jokes that only the two of us understood. In fact we even had a "secret pal club", where we would go out to lunch at a secret location (Pizza Hut) and he would sit and listen to me talk about whatever was on my heart… For as long as I wanted to. He has always made me feel so important. 

 My Wedding Day July 19, 1997

As I grew up I always went to my daddy for advice… He was the most gentle and loving father to me. He was patient and kind, and whenever I felt bad, he would always lift me up and make me feel so loved. 

I remember being in Elementary school and feeling sad about kids being mean to me, and my daddy would always say…

"You know Kerry Ann, if I was in your class, I would be your best friend and I would play with you every day". 

Both he and my mom loved me so much!! Many nights I would wake up to find them kneeling next to my bed, silently praying for me. They blessed me with my most precious gift…a strong faith and undying love for our Lord, Jesus, Christ. 

Even as I grew older, through my college years, and into my marriage, I always went to my daddy for advice. We often prayed together and felt a special call to serve our Lord in a very special way. 

I confided in him one day that I felt a special and specific calling to suffer for our Lord and my daddy then confided in me that he felt that same calling for himself, but neither of us were really sure what this would mean or what it would look like. So my daddy told me that we just needed to stay close to Jesus and be open to whatever He would choose to send our way.

My daddy retired early from his 30 year employment at GTE telephone company, to pursue his true love and vocation..... working for our Lord full-time. 

He went to Ave Maria University and earned his masters degree in theology and for the next 25 years, dedicated all of his free time to act as a servant for Christ. You could always find my daddy continuously in prayer while at daily Mass or in his office reading or studying our Lord's word, so that he could share everything that our Lord taught him with the world....And share it with the world, he did! He taught CCD for the high school kids at St. Ann, going on to head up the RCIA program for our church as well, gave talks, organized Adult Ed programs, and gave spiritual talks and even spiritual direction to many souls. He put his entire heart and soul into his ministry......I could go on and on. 

To this day… I still meet people, who when realizing that I am Jim Courtney's daughter, will tear up and tell me how much my daddy strengthened their faith life or literally brought them back to our Lord. I believe that my daddy is a living Saint on this earth.

MY DADDY'S SPECIAL CROSS

Over the past years, he started to forget things until finally it became apparent that he had been stricken with dementia. My daddy, who truly lived for our Lord, with his entire being, was now being silenced (in a way) BUT with this painful cross, my mom, my sister and I, just knew that this was an extremely hard, but a BEAUTIFUL cross, sent from Jesus Christ Himself, as A gift to my father for all of the hard work he had done for Him.

Jesus loves my daddy so much.

I clearly remember the weekend (a few years ago) when I realized how serious my Daddy's situation had become. My dad came to stay with me at my house while my mom went out of town, with her bridge group. Jeremy took Madison, Savannah and Nicholas camping (we only had three children at the time) so that my dad and I could spend a special weekend alone together, as I had been worried about him for quite some time. 

Over that weekend I realized that my dad did not always remember where he was or even who I was...he would frequently ask me, "Where's Kerry", and he would feel afraid. 

Even though I had been saddened as I observed his memory slowly declining, I hadn't realized how much his condition had progressed. This realization pierced by soul as my heart instantly broke into a million pieces. 

After I drove my dad home on that Sunday afternoon, I came back to my house and decided to take a warm bath and just sit.  The house was empty and I was shaking, purely in shock and prayerfully trying to get my head around all that I had discovered. 

While I was still in the tub, Jeremy arrived home with the kids. I tried to calmly explain everything that had happened over the weekend..... Jeremy's face fell as there was so much to report (Jeremy loves my dad so much).....and I was ADAMANTLY trying to tell Jeremy everything without crying… 

I told Jeremy that I COULD NOT let myself cry yet, because I knew for sure that if I let myself begin to cry, I would never be able to stop. 

Jeremy lovingly listened to my every word,  not saying much, just allowing me to pour my heart out. Then he walked over to me and sat on the step of the bathtub and just cried.  

He cried for me, because I could not cry for myself. 

In the past couple of years, this rugged and splintery cross has been so painful for my mom, my sister, myself, and our entire family. My mom is so beautiful and strong as she has, in a way, lost her best friend....her partner, her lifelong love....She is suffering with such Grace

I love you so much, mom

FAST FORWARD TO THIS YEAR

(iPhone selfie of today)

This Thanksgiving was the first time I was able to see my family since my lung transplant (as I am still in seclusion, but was blessed with the permission of my lung transplant doctor, to cautiously celebrate Thanksgiving at my parent's house). It had been a longer time since I had seen my daddy, because we were both homebound.  

I have missed my family so much!!! My heart fluttered at the thought of finally being able to see them face-to-face again, feeling better, and with new life in me, as it had pained them to see me so sick for so long. 

I wore my wig to Thanksgiving Dinner (that Jeremy so lovingly had made for me at a specialty wig place in Dallas… My poor husband had to sit for four hours as I was fitted for it… He is so good to me). 

ANYWAY......

 I wore my wig on Thanksgiving, so that I would look more like myself when I saw my daddy. One of the first things he did when I walked into his room to say hi to him, was grab my blonde hair and smile. When I was little he always called me "Colonel Whitehead" or his "Little Blondie" I leaned over and asked him if I could give him a kiss and he puckered his lips up for me!! it was pure heaven… I really miss him. 

Then I got to sit alone with him for a long time and just talk to him and I cried A LOT but it was so therapeutic and comforting for me to just talk to him. He could not answer me back, for I have longed to hear my daddy's strong but gentle voice just one more time, but he had a very firm grasp on my hand and would not let go…He was looking at me and seemed to maybe understand what I might be saying to him (I just know Jesus connected our hearts at that moment) and then he fell asleep.

The world will always fall short of total happiness, as Heaven is the only true fulfillment of our heart's desire… That is what I always tell my children. 

My daddy will never know me in the same way until we meet again in the presence of Jesus.

For this reason, my daddy's little girl (me...his kerrybear) longs for heaven even more, in a new and special way. 

This Thanksgiving has brought me more joy than any other Thanksgiving that I can remember. We all sat around the table and talked for hours and laughed and cried and just swam in the amazing elation that Jesus blessed us with that day. 

(My Daddy kissing baby Gracie Ann)

Before leaving my daddy's room to sit down for our Thanksgiving feast, Jesus granted me the strength to put my own selfish desires aside and be able to bravely say to my dad....

(with only a few tears)

"Daddy, it's okay that you cannot remember who I am, but please do not worry and take comfort in knowing ....That I will  ALWAYS remember who you are for as long as I live."

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

I love You, Dear Jesus

PERFECT LITTLE LULLABIES

PERFECT LITTLE LULLABIES

(Little Gracie Ann as she sweetly sleeps)

I have always loved singing to my children.  I also love singing to Jesus in prayer (my kids get to enjoy a lot of that in the car and around the house).

Song lyrics often describe exactly what my heart is trying to say when it is overtaken with emotion.  Music is the "weeping of my soul" as it proclaims true love....Meaningful music (most exclusively praise and worship music) just makes me joyful.

As I sing to my sweet Gracie Ann quite often, Jesus has inspired me with different songs that are not thought of as your typical lullabies, but bring tears to my eyes as the lyrics are so perfectly describe what my heart is feeling.
Today, this song truly touched me.  I was so overwhelmed with  gratitude for this special revelation, that I just had to share it.

I have always loved George Strait and have known and loved this song for many years.

But, today I sang it to Gracie Ann as a lullaby....and as a special gift, Jesus revealed to me that this song is not only a beautiful love letter from me to my baby girl, but it is also a beautiful love letter that Jesus wrote to His little girl (me) today......and He sang it in my heart as the sweetest serenade that I have ever heard. He sings this to all of His children as their hearts are quieted enough to hear it
Jesus, thank You for this gift today.  I loveYou

"I Cross My Heart"
By: George Strait

Our love is unconditional, we knew it from the start

I see it in your eyes and you can feel it from my heart

From here on after let's stay the way we are right now

And share all the love and laughter that a lifetime will allow

I cross my heart

And promise too, give all I've got to give to make all your dreams come true

In all the world, you'll never find, a love as true as mine

You will always be the miracle that makes my life complete

And as long as there's a breath in me, I'll make your's just a sweet

As we look into the future, it's as far as we can see

So let's make each tomorrow be the best that it can be

I cross my heart

And promise too, give all I've got to give to make all your dreams come true

In all the world, you'll never find a love as true as mine

And if along the way we find a day, it starts to storm

You've got the promise of my love, to keep you warm

In all the world you'll never find a love as true as mine

SUNDAY AFTERNOON

SUNDAY AFTERNOON

This is such a great day!  Gracie Ann got to sleep with me last night and that brought me total joy!!!

I have only been able to sleep with her one other time, due to me having to wear a BiPap/oxygen/etc.. at night and coughing all through the night.  Now that I have new lungs, I am able to indulge from time to time when my Lovely Jesus sees fit.

Even though getting up through the night is hard sometimes on a mommy, it has always been one of my absolute favorite times.

It is such an intimate and quiet date with both my baby and with Jesus.  The house is dark, except for my antique night light, which I bought on eBay and am totally in love with...It may be a fire hazard with it's odd 1940's wiring and questionable wall plug, but it brings me so much happiness

(What a beautiful image to see whenever I awake)

In fact, I have to share a picture of my nightstand that I can now enjoy without it being topped (literally overflowing) with medical equipment, a nebulizer, meds....pretty much an in home hospital

My place of tranquility has looked like a hospital room for 3 years now and finally by the Grace of God, Who saw that it was finally time to gift me back my bedroom, has blessed me yet again.  I never really enjoyed relaxing in my room.....well, because it was not a very relaxing place to be!

Thank you Jesus for this wonderful blessing of my nightstand clean-up, that would have been overlooked if it hadn't been taken from me in the first place......huge blessings wrapped in tiny boxes are the best!  Yet again, You have won over my heart, as only You can do...each and every day.   I am falling in love with You repeatedly.....Oh Jesus, I just love you so much

Back to my nighttime story

Feeding my little ones at night has to be one of my favorite times.  I hold my baby (in this case, my little Gracie Ann) in my arms and put my nose right on hers and softly rub them together.....then I just gaze into her sleepy little eyes and sing to her or sometimes I just quietly talk to her about how much I love her and I pray with her.  There is no other noise in the house.  It is so prayerful and peaceful!  I love to calm her as she slowly falls back to sleep in my arms.  It is the best...another enormous blessing wrapped up in the cutest little box.

SUNDAY AFTERNOON

After last night I do have to admit that I am a bit tired today.  I have been laying in bed with Gracie Ann, feeding her and doing her therapies with her (it is great)  Jeremy and Nicholas are watching the Cowboys Game, Savannah is playing with Isaac and Madison is laying in my bed working on something.....A Sunday full of peace and joy

BUT THEN...

Sweet little Isaac walked into my room, holding an orange in a bowl.

"Mommy open this for me please..."

I looked around my bed to see what I had available within an arms reach to help me in this literally "sticky" situation...

Here is what I came up with to provide Isaac with the help that he needed, while still holding Gracie Ann, who had since drifted off to sleep.

 I had to giggle as I sent him on his way to Daddy

After a few minutes of silence, I heard lots of laughter coming from the familyroom

Our Daddy is the best

I love you Jeremy and I love our Sunday afternoons

Thank you, Jesus for my family

I DO NOT FEEL LIKE MY BODY

This beautiful moment with Jesus this morning was what I was truly inspired to blog about today, I never want to forget how great His Love is

I DO NOT FEEL LIKE MY BODY

I had the most amazing dream last night.  I dreamt that I looked in the mirror and my hair had grown back, long and blonde like it used to be....and my face was not puffy and swollen, it looked back to normal and in fact my face was all done up with my make up and I was all dressed up to go out somewhere.  

I ran to show Jeremy and we praised Jesus for such an amazing miracle!!  I was flipping my hair around in the mirror (kind of strange BUT it WAS a dream) and then I woke up.

After a second, finally realizing that I had been asleep, I actually reached behind my head to feel my hair and of course as expected, it was only a dream.  

I had a tough night last night and felt even worse this morning with a lot of pain all over my body.  I assumed that it was probably due to my awesome PT yesterday (I did the bike, the treadmill and the stairs).....I have to thank my PT's Mary and Joseph for continuing to help me regain strength and mobility

Yes, you read that correctly.....My amazing Physical Therapists are actually named, Mary and Joseph

God just never stops, does He?!?!

SORRY, I GOT DISTRACTED

ANYWAY....

As I was saying....I woke up in quite a lot of pain, so this dream made me a bit sad.  As much as I try not to focus on not "looking like my old self", it creeps in from time to time as I do my best to push these thoughts away and just be thankful for all of the blessings that I DO have.....and they are abundant!

I had a tear in my eye already.....and because I was alone, I allowed myself to moan a little, due to my incision pain.  Well, as I thought about my dream a little bit more, another tear followed and then another, until 3 or 4 had rolled down my cheek and into my ear.

I was feeling a lot of sadness and prayed to be strong enough to move beyond my vanity and to simply appreciate my new life.

Just then, I was hit with such a blow to my soul that the tears began to multiply quicker than I could blink....Jesus spoke so softly and so gently inside of my heart and His Words were so powerful and beautiful and loving.....And this is what He said

"kerry, do you not realized that I dressed you today.....I did your hair just the way that I wanted it and I made your face look just as I desired it to look.  It pleases Me....and you said that you always want to please Me"

"This is what you have prayed for"

Dear Jesus,

I am sorry to focus on such things as I know and trust You with all things.  You are the creator of all things beautiful and amazing.  Season after season You dress the flowers so perfectly delightful and they never worry about how they are going to look (MATT 6:28) ......then who am I to worry!

Thank you Dear Lord Jesus for creating what You desire in me.  I love You with all of my heart, Dear Lord, and I will love You today tomorrow and always

love, kerry ann 

MY LITANY OF HUMILITY

MY LITANY OF HUMILITY 

I am always sure to remember that our Lord answers each and every prayer that we lay at His Most Beautiful and Holy Feet. He loves us too much to ever ignore even one of His children. 

I am so filled with gratitude for His undying and Perfect Love for me that I want nothing more in this life than to grow in holiness and to be made pure and pleasing to Christ. 

I constantly pray for humility and charity of heart, before all else.  Well today, as like many days, in His loving Goodness, He gave me the opportunity to practice this humility that I greatly pray for.

Here's where I am right now....yes that is the ER. I guess I didn't drag Jeremy to enough appointments yesterday (my poor husband!!...I love you Jeremy, you are too good to me)

HERE'S THE STORY

I have two medications that look identical. One, I infuse through my IV and another one that I nebulize orally. Well, you guessed it, I infused the nebulized med into my IV!!! Right when we realized it (when I went looking for the med to nebulize and couldn't find it) we called my transplant doc. They told me that it was probably okay, but that they needed me to come in for blood work and to be checked out in the hospital overnight. 

Jeremy and I packed as I cried over how stupid I had been by putting the wrong medication into my IV....the humility of having to drag my husband back to UT Southwestern and the humility of appearing so careless to my wonderful doctors, who entrusted me with these  beautiful new lungs. And finally, the humility of disappointing my kids by being gone yet again and at my own fault, no less. 

Of course everyone at the hospital was so kind and loving to me! Even my ER doctor filled me with stories of mistakes in the past, to try and make me feel better!! 

But the person at the ER admissions couldn't help but ask me....."Why did you do that?"  In the name of humility I did not cry, but calmly said with a smile, "I just messed up!"

Jesus still never left me as this day has worn on (of course He wouldn't leave). In fact, Just because He can and because He wants His children always joyful, we were just informed that they will draw my blood one more time after infusing a bag of IV fluids, and if my labs come back looking OK, then I get to go home tonight.

Dear Jesus,

You didn't have to but You did it anyway… Thank you

Love, kerry ann 

A SHORT UPDATE

Well, I have to stay overnight after all. My doctor found some concerning numbers in my blood (he is still saying that it's probably fine), but oddly enough these numbers do not have anything to do with my mistake from this morning. 

Jesus is good, I will say it again!!!! I'm here for a reason......He continues to keep close watch over me, like any loving father does when his little girl is sick. I give thanks to Him for His Goodness and I am just so grateful for all of the faithful who are praying for me.

I love you my Dear Jesus…Always and Forever

and I promise.....

We will praise You in this storm

"The Lord giveth...The Lord taketh away...Blessed be the Name of the Lord"

(Job 1:21)

MOMMY AND DADDY ARE BLESSED

MOMMY AND DADDY ARE BLESSED

To My FIVE Children,

(I just LOVE saying that….FIVE, isn’t that so awesome…me, a mommy of FIVE!!!)

(Madison, Savannah, Nicholas, Isaac, and Gracie Ann)

Today has been an extreme day of blessings for mommy and daddy!  We left the house before you were even awake, to head to UT Southwestern for another post transplant appointment (wow, I cannot believe I get to say that now….POST-transplant, instead of PRE-transplant).  These appointments make for long days, but actually right now they are my only outings, so for me it’s an all-day date with Daddy!  Of course we miss you so much but it is such a great opportunity to just get to visit with my best friend…..who puts up with a lot, let me tell you!  Over the past 10 months, he has spent 115 days in the hospital with me, NEVER leaving my side!!  Now, daddy drives me back and forth 3X per week to UT Southwestern for appointments, not to mention, all of my IV/oral meds and wound care throughout each day (and through the night) at home.  He is my total hero…..and he is super cute too!!  How did I deserve such a great guy?

Anyway back to my story of blessings

Look that these X-Rays of mommy’s lungs.  

The first one was taken in April of this year (2016) and the second one was taken this past Monday (November 7, 2016).  The doctor showed these images to us today….can you believe it!!!  Mommy’s lung function is now at 76%!  Remember when it sat at 17%….that is such a distant memory now as I have become addicted to breathing!! I hope that I leave enough air for everyone else….I have been a bit greedy with it lately!  That 76% will get even higher as I relearn how to breathe and use the 24% of my lungs that still awaits me!!!

Those are just SOME of the blessings from today…..When we go to my appointments, we get to see all of my amazing doctors and nurses, who have become family to me!  They celebrate in my success each and every time and then we get the chance to talk about and praise Jesus together with them!!

Me and Dr. Mohanka

I am just so thankful
They saved Mommy's life

I am so thankful for all of my Doctors, surgeons, nurses and the entire Transplant and Pulmonary Team

(Dr. Kaza, Dr. Bollineni, Dr. Wait, Dr. Pelts, Dr. Torres, Dr. Mullins, Dr. Banga, Dr. Mohanka and for my CF Pulmonologists, who kept me healthy and alive for so long....Dr. Jain and Dr. Finklea)

EVEN MORE BLESSINGS

Jeremy and I get to meet other patients (and their spouses) at both the clinic visits and at my physical therapy, who are going through what I am going through (and what Jeremy is going through)….it imparts an instant connection, as we both understand the pure joy and happiness that we physically feel with each and every breath. I have cried with more strangers in the past 8 months than I ever thought I would in a lifetime.

In PT today, I road a mile on the bike

And I walked a mile on the treadmill

My little ones remember this....

Suffering brings forth a beautiful unity with not only our Lord, but also among people.  I have grown to believe that my suffering has had the ability to be more intimately joyful than most earthly pleasures.  

Don’t get me wrong, my little ones, the joy of being your mommy and having each of you growing inside of my tummy (and now getting to love you and care for you each and everyday) is a true earthly pleasure that has brought me the most joy in all of the world!

LONG WAIT

Right now we are sitting in daddy’s car outside of Dallas/Love Field Airport (watching the planes take off) as we wait for another appointment that doesn’t start until 4:00pm.  Right now it is 1:00pm.  I have to "fast" for this test, so we cannot even go out to lunch. All that we have at this moment is time.  Your daddy has nodded off to sleep, so that is why I decided to write you this letter.  He is so tired and snoring right now....while I am watching the planes take off RIGHT over our car

 Here it comes

 It looks like it might hit the car

 Then it swoops up fast.....just in time

There it is through the sunroof.....I cannot believe that, that big thing can fly

Well, my babies, we will not be home until dinner time tonight, but we cannot wait to see you and hug you

RANDOM CUTE PICTURE ALERT

TWO CUTE HALLOWEEN PICS THAT I JUST GOT

Even though Gracie Ann was in the hospital the night of halloween, we decided to take pictures of her in her costume after....shhhh, don't tell her that she is a little butterfly 

My friend Jen just sent me this picture of Isaac and his sweet little friends (her little ones) Sarah and Shawn

So many wonderful things to celebrate right now in our family!  I love being your Mommy and I love playing with my little babies.....that's you, Isaac and Gracie Ann....and I love hanging out with my big kids....that's you, Savannah, Madison, and Nicholas! That is the best part of having new lungs.  I love you with all of my heart

Love, Mommy

Dear Lord Jesus,
Thank you yet again for showering me with gift after gift!  Each and every trial always comes wrapped in the most beautiful box with a huge bow tied on top. 
Please help me to use these new lungs to serve only You, through serving others. Help me to be a loving and supportive wife for Jeremy and the best mommy ever for these five little souls.
Thank you for all of the blessings in my life.  Please Dear Lord, Jesus...help us to stay close to You always and forever 

love, kerry ann

P.S.

ONE MORE DAILY BLESSING
Today, the last of our medical equipment was picked up from our house.  We went from 2 therapy percussion vests, one standing handheld percussion machine, 4 various kinds of nebulizers, a BiPap, and 3 oxygen concentrators
 (Right towards the end, before my new lungs, I needed to tether 3 concentrators together to provide the amount of oxygen I required)

This brought on a mix of emotions.....I was somewhere between joyful that I didn't need this equipment anymore, but sad that I have friends and other loved ones that still do, happy that my bedroom could go back to JUST being a bedroom, but a little terrified, as I have depended on these machines for so long to keep me alive and now they are gone.
It all boils down to a simple Thank you to my Lord for always blessing me and to my beautiful donor who, as he lost his life, selflessly offered to now breathe for me