Wednesday, April 19


Our little Isaac is totally potty trained AND is now sleeping in his big boy bed
Where has the time it is joyful for a mommy to see her children thriving and developing healthy and safe as they should, but it is also bit of a suffering to see them growing closer to the time when they will become adults and leave their mommy and daddy's nest
Isaac was so excited about the Big Boy Bed
 Of course he wanted EVERY stuffed animal and blanket to be a part of this new experience.....
There was barly room for ISAAC to fit in the bed
We love you are growing from a silly and super cute toddler into a (still silly and super cute) sweet and kind young boy

 Isaac....Look at mommy's camera and say "cheese"
  Isaac....LOOK at mommy's CAMERA and say "cheese"

Our Picture Struggles
I was taking some pictures of Isaac and Gracie Ann tonight.......and as in MOST pictures of Isaac…It takes 20 snap shots to get him to look AT the camera.
Well, as usual, Isaac kept saying "cheese" but would not look at my camera, so after me repeatedly asking him to look at mommy's camera… 
I finally said "Isaac, look at Jesus" 
(because my iPhone case is an image of Jesus) 
and so Isaac said.....
"Cheese Jesus"
It made my heart flutter and my belly giggle….
AND......he DID FINALLY look at my camera
Dear Precious Lord Jesus,
Thank you for our #4...Isaac (4th child) who continues to fill the house with joy and laughter each and every day.  We love You so much and will use each and every breath in us to lead him back home to You
kerry ann



We had a most wonderful Holy Week
There were many tears throughout this blessed Holy Week, in praise and thanksgiving for the health of Gracie Ann and myself
My heart just ached last year suffering so much, being so sick and having to be away from the kids on Easter

Nicholas was blessed to be able to serve on the Altar at Mass on Holy Thursday, the Veneration of the Cross on Good Friday and at Easter Vigil on Saturday
 Nicholas had special training in order to serve at these special Masses/services
I was SO BLESSED to be able to go an adore my Jesus with my sweet Nicholas at 3:00am-4:00am (the hour of Mercy) early Good Friday morning.
What an intimate and powerful time for our hearts

I was unable to attend the other special services because the crowds were too large (what a blessing to see so many worshiping and celebrating this most important time together)
Then Fr Gary gave me the most beautiful idea as I had decided that it was too crowded for me to stay as Savannah and I walked up to the church for the Veneration on Good Friday
He suggested that I could walk the Outdoor Stations of the Cross instead of coming inside with all of the families.

What a special time it was.....prayerfully 
walking alone through the beautiul outdoor garden in front of the church....meditating on our Lord's death and Resurrection


Nicholas felt bad knowing that I was sad to miss most of the Holy Week services (because of the crowds), so since he was an Altar server at Easter Vigil, he held one of the special candles, lit by the Paschal Candle, lit by the New blessed fire outside of the church.
He then started with other servers to light the candles of all of the congregation, which would then create a beautiful glow inside of the darkened Sanctuary to begin the liturgy of the Easter Vigil Mass
There is my sweet Nicholas (the short Altar server)
My sweet and thoughtful son, brought that special candle home for me.  It will hold a place of honor in my heart and be kept respectivly as deserved for the precious gift that it is.
Here is this most beautiful candle lying beneath the Crucifix on our kitchen table 
My sister blessed me with these two beautiful lit candles on either side of the Cross made from vintage Holy Cards
(These special sacramentals warm our home, as I love to be surrounded by as many Images of my Jesus and the Saints as I can fit)
Some special moments that I spent with my two babies while the rest of my family was at Easter Vigil
 Isaac loves Gracie Ann so much that he cannot get enough of her
 He loves kissing her face and hugging her.....he had gotten into her little bed with her as she slept and tried to snuggle up to her
It didn't go over too he woke her up......I just love this picture of Isaac and Gracie Ann

It just makes me laugh as he is trying so hard to love on her and she got so frustrated with him....she peacefully fell back to sleep almost instantly, though and in Isaac/toddler fashion...he grew bored of laying next to her and got out of her bed to play


Woke up and hunted eggs
Help from Nicholas and his sisters to collect the hidden eggs 
Discovered "Malted Milk ball" Easter Eggs
Ate breakfast and enjoyed some new surprises that the bunny dropped off
 Took off our FOOTIE pajamas in order to try on our new light up camo shoes AND play with a new "pool noodle"
 Accoring to Isaac, the best shoes EVER.....light up as you run

Isaac FILLED our Easter morning with tons of laughs
Isaac finally got dressed more respectfully as we got ready to leave the house

We stopped by to visit some extremely special people, wishing them a happy Feast day, bearing Easter lilies

Then headed to my mom and dad's for Easter dinner with my sister, brother in law and the cousins

Right when I walked into my daddy's room to say hello, he instantly "tracked" Gracie Ann as I held her in my arms.  He couldn't say the words, but there was NO DOUBT that he wanted that baby girl in HIS arms!
 He held her so contently in his arms....just gazing at her
 My mom and dad with all of the grandchildren
My daddy was weakly reaching for Gracie Ann's hand, so I guided his hand to find hers and he held onto her little fingers and stroked her little legs......the two of them fell asleep together.  I couldn't decide who was snoring louder....what a joyful time for them both

Me and my Sis
 Isaac coming to say hi to Grandpa
Savannah Banana

Madison and Nicholas were both in attendance as you can see from the group photo with Grandma and Grandpa, but I have been the worst lately at taking pictures at important events.

I guess that I am just so happy to be there with my family (soaking it all in), that I get lost in enjoyment and forget to capture those special moments to share with friends and to enjoy looking back on, later
Here is one of Jeremy and I the day AFTER Easter at the hosptial waiting for my bronchoscopy
(which by the way showed my lungs totally clear.....Praise Jesus)

All in all, it was a most joyous Easter for our different from last Easter when Jeremy, Gracie Ann and I couldn't spend Easter with the rest of the family

I love you so much Dear Father....thank You for all of these wonderful blessings.....You have showered us so much, that I stand in total and absolute gratitude for the abundance of blessings that I see and even more so, for the insurmountable amount of blessings that my mind is too small to even grasp.
kerry ann


Thursday, April 13


Before I knew Your Name,
You knew my every breath
Before I found my way,
You knew my every step
Before I knew everything that I need,
You gave it all to me

No Greater Love than This,
That You should lay down Your Life

For someone such as me,
I'll spend a lifetime wondering why

The beauty of Heaven is here in my heart
And I know there can be,

No Greater Love.....than This

"No Greater Love" By: Rachael Lampa

Wednesday, April 5


(Yes.....This little guy has something to do with it)
Along with my prayerfully descerned Lenten fasting (a.k.a. "what I am giving up"), Jesus has decided that I need to also give up all of my dignity and the little bit of pride that I still obtained

As you know, I take Nicholas, Isaac and Gracie Ann to Daily Mass since I cannot attend the weekend Mass yet.

Isaac is fairly well-behaved at Mass....a lot of the time.  Some Masses.....not so much!
(Isaac is really lucky that God made him SO cute)

My first three children were really well behaved in Mass.....Daily Mass was where they were trained to sit, stand, kneel and take part as much as they could.  They did each have a Mass bag with holy books, statues, Rosaries, etc.....that they could look at during the homily and readings that they did not understand
Isaac is a different story since I was so sick that he did not attend Daily Mass from day one, so This turned into our special time and he was really responding to taking part in Mass

Isaac is being taught NOT to stare at people (especially anyone sitting directly behind/beside us), and not to distract others....and to sit nicely and to play quietly.  He is also being taught to stand and sit and kneel as we worship as a community, seeing as each one of us is an important part of 
"The Body of Christ"

Well, this week was an abnormally hard week for Isaac to show self-control!

Isaac ripped a page in our church hymnal
(It was an accident, but he was handling it too rough)
So after Mass, Isaac (embarrassingly) showed the damaged Hymnal to Fr. Gary and explained to Father what he had done, and then Isaac apologized.
Fr Gary so loving forgave Isaac in an instant, and with a very kind smile on his face.  
Father would not let us purchase a new Hymnal for the church, but agreed to allow us to take the damaged one home, and tape the page back together
 Which we did....I am an could hardly tell!

Isaac totally had a "Come Apart" during Mass
(This is just a cute pic of Isaac and Gracie Ann to throw into the story)

Unfortunately I DO NOT have pictures from this event, but please feel free to envision a full-out "Dog and Pony show" in your mind.

He was EXTREMELY fidgety AND loud!
He refused to stand up or face forward.....
I gave him the "mom look" and told him firmly to: 
"stop"....."stand up"......"turn around".....etc
(Another cute pic of the babies)

I finally had to try and physically lift his body out from under the pew and stand him up.......
At this point, he turned his body into a "noodle-form", becoming completely "limber" and would not STRAIGHTEN OUT his legs or even listen to me, as he was crying out "no!!!!!" and hanging from my arm

(now mind you....I have Gracie Ann in a kangaroo pouch across my body, so I am limited in my mobility at this point)

 I finally told him that he needed to stop or else he would lose his favorite toy
As expected, he refused.............. 
I told him that now he HAS lost his favorite toy......and if he did not stop right then, he would also have to take a nap right when we got home, instead of playing......of course, Isaac was unaffected by this threat......
Then I told him that he had lost his favorite toy AND that he was going to bed AS SOON AS we got home........and that if he did not stop misbehaving, then I would have to take him outside for a spanking!
(As you can see from this picture....what kind of a week Isaac was having)

Even with the threat of a spanking, as expected, he did not seem to care.....Well, NOW I have taken on this punishment and NOW I HAVE to carry it out!

So with all of the Grace that I could muster up, I literally DRUG his body out of the church as he screamed 
(at the top of his lungs)..... 

(this was all happening in the total silence as it of course was the Consecration......DEAD SILENCE)
Not a sound in the Sanctuary....EXCEPT for Isaac, of course

This little show that Isaac put on during this most Intimate Sacrifice, as the church was in complete and total reverance during this loud little Isaac was a definite "head-turner"
As I got him out of the Santuary, he ran from me again toward another family kneeling in prayer in the Narthex! I was truly mortified.....I Kept repeating in my head
"It is not what life throws my's I deal wih it that I celebrate or resent later....keep calm and in control
The mother of this family.....being one of my great friends gave a little giggle as to say....
"It is okay, kerry......we have ALL been there"

God Bless moms and the important vocation of motherhood, who with a simple smile of acceptance, comforts other moms as they battle a tough child
I.....(still holding Gracie Ann) grabbed him again and used all of strength that I had to drag him out of the door to the outside.

He was crying and yelling "no!" as I spanked him one time....then his yelling concluded, and only his crying could be heard.
(Phewf.....he has finally raised the white flag of surrender)
Of course the embarressment had already taken place, but what good and meaty suffering to offer to our Lord as atonment for my vanity....I am quite confident that I needed to experience this great humility.

I held his shoulders and calmly but firmly asked him why he was being so difficult!

"Isaac!"....I said, "I cannot believe that you are acting this way, especially at holy Mass!"

 He continued to cry as I told him.....
"It is NOT OKAY to be so loud and dissobediant in church or for that matter......anywhere! And then to run away from me!!!! "
"Mommy is so sad by your choices"
His cries became a little quieter and his posture softened as he hugged me
I explained to him that my heart was broken because he was not being nice.
He finally exclaimed, "I sorry mommy!" 

After Mass ended....we AGAIN waited to talk to Fr Michael (at least it was a different priest from the day before adventures during Mass)......Isaac, again apologized for distracting everyone by talking loudly during the Consecration.  Fr Michael graciously forgave Isaac and we went home.


We did not go to Daily Mass, as all of the school children go on Wednesdays and I cannot be around that big of a crowd yet...
As we sat eating lunch together, Isaac asked me...
"Mommy, is your heart was still broken?"
"Don't let it be broken....I fix it.....It's not broken...."

I did not understand what he was talking about, as we had played cars just before lunch and all seemed well. We had a great time.

I asked him....
"Why would Mommy's heart be broken Isaac?"
He replied.....
"Because, I was not listening at church yesterday"

What a consollation from our Lord that Isaac knows and remembers what he is being taught and that all of the humility that I  experienced at Mass the day before, was not in vain......that he had been taught a lesson and that he CARED so much about my heart being hurt.

Jesus blessed me with this great consolation.....Isaac IS listening, even though sometimes it seems frustrating as I feel like I am not getting anywhere with him!!
"Perseverence kerry" what Jesus gently and repeatedly whispers in my heart (about being a mom and about A LOT of different things in my life.

Motherhood is such a wonderlfuly fulfilling vocation
(a wife and a mommy is all that I ever wanted to be)

But how hard it is to be a mom.
Jesus calls mothers to be conscientious in the raising these precious souls, that He has entrusted to us. 
He desires for us to patiently and lovingly take our time and energy to teach these little ones right from wrong.....over and over and OVER again!
In spiritual direction, Charlene (a beautiful Consecrated bride of Christ and my amazing spiritual director) once told me, as I tearfully sought her advice on an issue with my children not getting along very well
"It breaks my heart when they hurt each other's feelings"
I complained how NOTHING that I tried had worked.  Charlene so kindly responded.....
"kerry, your solution didn't NOT work, it just hasn't worked YET."

What a God inspired truth.  How many times do WE as adults try to fix something in our own times? Seventy times seven times!  We are hard creatures to form and stick to promises that we make, to better ourselves.  The world destracts us time and time again

It gave me hope and comfort to not become discouraged nor disheartened, but to keep persevering no matter what.
God is still working in our children just as He is working in us.

This Lent was full of many valuable teachings and opportunities to live out my vocation(s) as a wife, mother, sister, daughter, and frien......
 as a TRUE child of God.

Dear Lord Jesus, my Father, and my Teacher,
Thank You for guiding me through this life with wonderful people whom You have sent to minister to me, forming me into a more desireable version of myself....that is more pleasing to You.
I long to be Your true delight in each and every way.  Thank You for this time of Lent as we transform our hearts and souls in preparation for Your Greastest Sacrifice for us, Your Eternal and Triumphant Glory over evil, and Your greatest gift to us.
Thank You for loving me so much as to never give up on me.  I love You and I promise to spend my entire life praying for You to transform me into what truly gladdens You
My Dear Lord Jesus.......Please love me as i am.....but too much to leave me this way
kerry ann


Today I had A doctors appointment that I was not planning on. 
I'm in a "CF pregnancy study" that I started when I was pregnant with Gracie Ann. It is being put on by one of my amazing CF Pulmonologists who kept me so healthy for so many years, allowing our Lord to work through her, so that I could still be here (alive) to receive the blessing of my beautiful new lungs!
For these amazing doctors.....I will forever be grateful
(My first sonogram showing Gracie Ann in my belly)
I was really honored to be a part of this study, hopeful that it would bless other CF sufferers with the optimism that they too can have a family and a wonderful life! 
I also wanted to be a part of this important study, because I want other pregnant mommies to know, that if the baby inside of their belly tests positive for Cystic Fibrosis (through genetic testing) that they can be assured that this life was...
1. meant to be
2. This little baby can and will be great
3. And that this precious child is MOST DEFINITELY worth keeping!!

ANYWAY.... I was called in to take part in the final part of the study, now that I have delivered Gracie Ann.
I came home after my appointment and played with Isaac for a little while.
When it was time for Isaac to go down for a nap, I thought of another errand I could run, and then check off of my list

Gracie Ann was having a tube feed in her swing, but was unusually fussy. I stroked her head and covered her up, but she was still whimpering. I finally pulled a kitchen chair over to her swing and took her out and held her, tightly in my arms and close to my heart. She stopped crying and begin to coo like a baby kitten. 
For a moment I thought of how I could wrap her tightly in a blanket to insinuate the same feeling of me holding her tight up against me,  so that I can run my errand and be home in time for Isaac to wake up and for the kids to return from school.....perfectly planned, right?

At that very moment "JOYFUL SURRENDER" flooded my heart and then and there I knew that the errand that was to be checked off  of my list, was NOT going to be done today. 
I was going to sit and hold my baby girl as long as she needed me to. 
That was EXACTLY what Jesus wanted me to do EXACTLY at THAT VERY moment.
It was not necessarily practical…… instead it was even It was TOTALLY AND IMPRACTICALLY DIVINE

Jesus was calling me to simply be a mommy (which is NO simple task in today's world)
This spot for MY children can be filled by no one else, but me.
 (Gracie Ann is MY little lamb to feed)
My heart was filled with peace and love as Gracie Ann let out a huge "sigh" and began to snore. 

This was the most important part of my day. 

There will be no checks off of the list, no visual or tangible sign of this task, except for the irreplaceable marks left on each of our hearts
and the most beautiful smile on my Jesus's most Holy Face, as He was delighted that I FINALLY GOT PAST MYSELF and fulfilled HIS desires.

I love you my sweet Gracie Ann and I love You my Sweet Jesus

In the Name of the Father
And of the Son
And of the Holy Spirit,
kerry ann