Sunday, August 7

MY WAIT IS A BITTER SWEET ONE

MY WAIT IS A BITTER SWEET ONE
How totally excited and totally terrified I am as I wait to receive my new lungs.

I struggle praying for new lungs, as I know that those lungs that will sustain my life, will be taken from someone who's life will no longer be sustained. 
Jeremy and I have been praying for my precious, life-giving donor.  We already absolutely adore and greatly treasure this person, of whom we've never even met........I pray and offer up sufferings for her/him each and every day.
Because, more than simply a set of lungs, these special life-giving lungs are giving life to another child of God right now.
As I am praying, I often think about what this person might be going through right at this moment.
Maybe this person is sick or maybe this person is just living their life, unaware of what is to come and how their sacrifice will so greatly bless the life of another

I plead with Jesus that when the time comes for my transplant, that He will welcome my donor  into Heaven with a grand serenade by a glorious choir of angels.....as a special thanks from me!!  But I am pretty sure that God has it covered and does not need any of my suggestions.....but like every little girl that begs her Daddy for a gift, I still ask Him anyway

It is overwhelming and humbling to think....
For a person's life has to be given in order for my life to be saved.

What an ultimate gift this donor will have given to me and my family.  What a beautiful gift all of us are offering when we agree to be origin donors as well.
Where I used to simply check the "donor" box on my driver's license paperwork, and for one quick moment smile at the thought of possibly saving someone's life.......Now, that small check in that box means so much more than it ever did before.

I fantisize about one day meeting my donor's family and thanking them for their beautiful and amazing sacrifice of love, for life.  I often stress, thinking about ideas of gifts that I could give them to show them at least a smidgen of my gratitude for their loved one....But Jeremy sweetly calms me down by saying.... "Kerry, slow down....For now, let's just worry about keeping you healthy until the actual transplant.....we can worry about buying gifts later"
My amazing and loving husband always helps to keep me in check, lowering my stress level during this most stressful time in our life
(I'm such a mess......Jeremy must just laugh at me all of the time....hopefully he thinks that my incessant stressing is an enduring quality)
So, for now I will patiently wait in prayer

Dear Jesus,
When my time on earth is through (whether it be today, tomorrow, or years from now) I pray,  Dear Lord, that I can bring new life to another, by donating a part of myself to one of Your other children, who needs it to live!
I praise You Dear Lord Jesus for my life.  I praise You Dear Lord Jesus for all of those mercifully praying for me!!  I love You so much!!  I love You with my entire heart and with my entire soul and I promise that I will continue to do my best to be Yours forever!
Love, kerry ann

Saturday, August 6

ISAAC SAW ANGELS AT MASS

ISAAC SAW ANGELS
(My sweet Isaac)
During 5:00pm Mass last Sunday, right before the Consecration, Isaac had, had enough pew time.  He was being sweet but just could not sit quietly any longer......BTW, Isaac is 2 years old.

Madison offered to walk Isaac to the back of the Sanctuary, which is something the kids do often with Isaac when he is tired of sitting at Mass.  Madison walked Isaac around the back of the pews and pointed at all of the beautiful statues and images in the church.  They lit a candle, prayed for mama and Gracie Ann, which is the first part of their Sunday Mass tradition.
After reaching the back of the church, Madison always walks Isaac over to the image of Our Lady of Guadalupe (another tradition they both enjoy)  Madison always asks Isaac the same questions each time.  Below you can read their conversation as they stand in front of this beautiful painting.

Madison:     "Isaac, where is Mama Mary?" 
 Isaac:   "there"as he points to Mary in the painting
Madison:   "Isaac, where is Baby Jesus?"
Isaac:   "there", as he points to Mary's belly
Madison:   "Isaac, where is the Angel?"
Isaac:   "there"as he points to the angel under Mary's feet (this is where he always points)

By this time in the conversation, the Most Holy Consecration was well underway

After Isaac pointed to the angel in the painting, he excitedly looked up into the air and exclaimed.....
"And there.......and there......and there!" As he pointed up towards the ceiling all around him.  He had never done this before.


Madison quickly asked........

Madison:   "Isaac, what do you see?"
Isaac:   "Angel.....angel.....angel" as he continued to point (his rendition of pronouncing angel is something similar to "a-gel" with a hard G)

Madison (very surprised and excited) quickly seized the moment as she asked Isaac more questions about what he was seeing

Madison:   "Isaac, do you have an angel of your own?"
Isaac:   "es" (yes)
Madison:   "Where is Isaac's angel?"
Isaac:   "There" (as he points above his head but behind him)
Madison:   "Where is Madison's angel?"
Isaac:   "There" (as he points above Madison's head but behind her)
Madison:   "Isaac, can you call your angel down?"
Isaac:   "es" (yes)
Isaac looks up to the ceiling and says something that Madison could not understand (they were talking quietly, so she couldn't hear what he said)
After he speaks up to the ceiling, his eyes follow from the ceiling down to in front of him.

Madison:   "Where is Isaac's angel now?"
Isaac points down in front of himself

Isaac, then unfortunately was distracted by a noise he heard across the room and looked away,  pointing towards the noise

Madison quickly regained his attention and asked him again.....

Madison:   "Where is Isaac"s angel now?"
Isaac pointed to the EXACT same location that he had said his angel was, a minute earlier
Madison:   "Can you give your angel a hug?"
Isaac:   "es" (yes)
Isaac hugs the air in front of himself and gives it a kiss
Madison:   "Isaac, can you give Madison's angel a hug too?"
Isaac:   "es" (yes)
Isaac walks behind Madison and hugs and kisses the air

By this time it was time for Madison and Isaac to go up for Holy Communion.   Since they were back in the narthex, they were the last to receive Communion.  They returned to the back row pew and knelt as Madison quietly said some post Communion prayers.  Isaac stood on the kneeler, looking around.  By this time Communion was completed and the Eucharist had been put back into and the Tabernacle and the Altar had been cleared

Madison could not wait to ask Isaac more about his angel.....still kneeling, she leaned over and  quietly asked him....
Madison:   "Isaac, can you talk to your angel?"
Isaac:   "es" (yes)
Madison:   "Isaac, ask him what his name is"

Isaac looked around for a minute and then said.....
Isaac:   "eve" (leave)....."up".  Isaac pointed up and repeated "eve" (leave)..."up"
Madison:   "Did your angel leave, Isaac?"
Isaac:   "es", as he continued to point up to the ceiling exclaiming "eve"..."up"
Isaac saw the choir of Angels that are always present during the Consecration!! This vision is a special consolation that many others have been blessed to see as well.  What a beautiful moment that Isaac had and that Madison got to share in.  I love when God surprises us like that.....why does He do it.......BECAUSE HE CAN!!  He is an amazing Father Who Loves His children with a Perfect Love and I am so blessed to be able to call Him Father and I am so privileged to be called His little girl!!

I know that Isaac will not remember this event even happening, as he is only 2 years old, but I don't what us to ever forget what a beautiful gift our Lord gave us through our sweet and innocent little boy that day.
I just couldn't help but add this picture of Isaac as well.  He was so intrigued that BOTH fingers could fit in his nose at the same time!
(you know that THIS picture will come back to haunt him when he gets older)

Dear Jesus,
Thank You for giving us (Your little children) Yourself through the Most Holy Eucharist, where all of Heaven joins together in Adoration of Your True Mightiness! 
 I am truly humbled and in awe of You at every moment!
Thank You for blessing us with Isaac and for all 5 of our precious children!  They bring us so much joy!  Thank you for making Yourself present to Jeremy and I, through them in so many ways.  These consultations are such wonderful gifts to us.  Thank You for loving us so much!  Help us to be more like little children...living in innocence, obedience and faithfulness.  I know that their pure little souls are Your True Heart's Delight!
I love You with my entire heart, with my entire soul, and with everything that I am, and I will continue to love You from now until my very last breath!
love, kerry ann