At Mass this evening, Msgr Hart was giving a most beautiful homily about Zacchaeus climbing the Sycamore Tree to see Jesus and how Jesus wanted to eat dinner at Zacchaeus' house and how nobody could believe that Jesus wanted to eat dinner with such a sinful man and how Zacchaeus was converted. Msgr. started his homily by giving the meaning of the name, "Zacchaeus"
Just then, my mind wandered to thoughts of my sweet little boy Isaac and what the name Isaac meant. Well, it is Hebrew and it means: "Laughter"
We have loved the name Isaac for a long time (way before we were pregnant), really thinking that we would never be blessed with another little one and be able to use this name for.
I started thinking about the Scripture describing the life of Abraham and Isaac...this Scriptural account has always been close to my heart. It tells of an act of such obedience and trust! It is really the most extreme obedience that I could ever imagine. Abraham was asked by God to sacrifice his son, Isaac. Isaac was about 12 years old when God asked Abraham for this great act of obedience.
Sacrificing your child would not be easy at any age, but what struck me, was that I never thought about Isaac being 12 and being able to talk to his dad, asking him where they were going (as Abraham walked with Isaac to the temple) Isaac would soon realize what was going on.
The fear in Isaac's young eyes, as he looked at his father, when he realized what was happening, would have been indescribable!! This act of obedience must have tore at the very heart of Abraham, who loved his son so dearly.
As Abraham proved his obedience to our Lord, God sent an angel to stop Abraham at the last second, and Isaac was able to live.
When we found out that we were having this sweet baby, we had so many fears because of my health. I was really struggling to even keep myself alive.
One day as I feverishly worried about our little baby (thinking of my recent stress, lack of air, medications, etc..) feeling so helpless and sad as I came to the conclusion that I could not keep him/her safe inside of me, I felt moved to turn my great fear into great trust and give it all to my Sweet Lord Jesus.
Thank you Sweet Jesus for these moments of such clarity and surrender
At that moment, in a fervent prayer from the deepest part of my soul, I offered this sweet little baby to our Loving God.....realizing I needed to offer this little one fully to God so that He could protect and guard this child.
He is the only one that can do the impossible!! What a comfort I felt, running to the Arms of my Father in Heaven for help, when I (His daughter) finally realize that I can't handle any of this on my own. He confidently speaks directly to my heart with whispers of Love and Assurance.
I just love our Lord so much!!
Now that we have found out that our sweet little baby is a boy and that this beautiful name "Isaac", that we have loved for so long, now gets to belong to our little angel.....Wow!!! It struck me right in the midst of Holy Mass how absolutely perfect our Lord is!! Our little Isaac was offered to our Lord wholly and completely with great trust and out of Obedience!!
NOT that I am comparing myself to Abraham......my sacrifice of control and the offering of our little Isaac is NOT of the same composition, as I was not asked by God to take the life of Isaac in order to offer him to our Lord. But when thinking about my sweet little boy and remembering this offering that I made to my God out of great love (trust) and obedience, I was struck by the significance that now his name is Isaac.
God IS that perfect!! He IS that amazing!! I just know with all of my heart that this is NOT just a far reaching thought of my soul.....HE designed it to be JUST this way!
How GREAT is your God?!?! How BIG is your God?!?! How POWERFUL is your God?!?!
"The Mountains bow down and the seas will roar at the sound of His Name"
What a beautiful and amazing Mass that was. Jesus spoke directly to my heart, when I was finally quiet, focused, and listening....which can prove hard at times, as I am always running in 5 different directions.
Thank you Lord for talking to me and for loving me so, day after day, and for never ceasing to amaze Your little girl!!
