Sunday, August 7

MY WAIT IS A BITTER SWEET ONE

MY WAIT IS A BITTER SWEET ONE
How totally excited and totally terrified I am as I wait to receive my new lungs.

I struggle praying for new lungs, as I know that those lungs that will sustain my life, will be taken from someone who's life will no longer be sustained. 
Jeremy and I have been praying for my precious, life-giving donor.  We already absolutely adore and greatly treasure this person, of whom we've never even met........I pray and offer up sufferings for her/him each and every day.
Because, more than simply a set of lungs, these special life-giving lungs are giving life to another child of God right now.
As I am praying, I often think about what this person might be going through right at this moment.
Maybe this person is sick or maybe this person is just living their life, unaware of what is to come and how their sacrifice will so greatly bless the life of another

I plead with Jesus that when the time comes for my transplant, that He will welcome my donor  into Heaven with a grand serenade by a glorious choir of angels.....as a special thanks from me!!  But I am pretty sure that God has it covered and does not need any of my suggestions.....but like every little girl that begs her Daddy for a gift, I still ask Him anyway

It is overwhelming and humbling to think....
For a person's life has to be given in order for my life to be saved.

What an ultimate gift this donor will have given to me and my family.  What a beautiful gift all of us are offering when we agree to be origin donors as well.
Where I used to simply check the "donor" box on my driver's license paperwork, and for one quick moment smile at the thought of possibly saving someone's life.......Now, that small check in that box means so much more than it ever did before.

I fantisize about one day meeting my donor's family and thanking them for their beautiful and amazing sacrifice of love, for life.  I often stress, thinking about ideas of gifts that I could give them to show them at least a smidgen of my gratitude for their loved one....But Jeremy sweetly calms me down by saying.... "Kerry, slow down....For now, let's just worry about keeping you healthy until the actual transplant.....we can worry about buying gifts later"
My amazing and loving husband always helps to keep me in check, lowering my stress level during this most stressful time in our life
(I'm such a mess......Jeremy must just laugh at me all of the time....hopefully he thinks that my incessant stressing is an enduring quality)
So, for now I will patiently wait in prayer

Dear Jesus,
When my time on earth is through (whether it be today, tomorrow, or years from now) I pray,  Dear Lord, that I can bring new life to another, by donating a part of myself to one of Your other children, who needs it to live!
I praise You Dear Lord Jesus for my life.  I praise You Dear Lord Jesus for all of those mercifully praying for me!!  I love You so much!!  I love You with my entire heart and with my entire soul and I promise that I will continue to do my best to be Yours forever!
Love, kerry ann