Isaac is a different story since I was so sick that he did not attend Daily Mass from day one, so This turned into our special time and he was really responding to taking part in Mass
Isaac is being taught NOT to stare at people (especially anyone sitting directly behind/beside us), and not to distract others....and to sit nicely and to play quietly. He is also being taught to stand and sit and kneel as we worship as a community, seeing as each one of us is an important part of
As I got him out of the Santuary, he ran from me again toward another family kneeling in prayer in the Narthex! I was truly mortified.....I Kept repeating in my head
"It is not what life throws my way.....it's I deal wih it that I celebrate or resent later....keep calm and in control
The mother of this family.....being one of my great friends gave a little giggle as to say....
"It is okay, kerry......we have ALL been there"
God Bless moms and the important vocation of motherhood, who with a simple smile of acceptance, comforts other moms as they battle a tough child
(Phewf.....he has finally raised the white flag of surrender)
Of course the embarressment had already taken place, but what good and meaty suffering to offer to our Lord as atonment for my vanity....I am quite confident that I needed to experience this great humility.
He continued to cry as I told him.....
"It is NOT OKAY to be so loud and dissobediant in church or for that matter......anywhere! And then to run away from me!!!! "
"Mommy is so sad by your choices"
I explained to him that my heart was broken because he was not being nice.
After Mass ended....we AGAIN waited to talk to Fr Michael (at least it was a different priest from the day before adventures during Mass)......Isaac, again apologized for distracting everyone by talking loudly during the Consecration. Fr Michael graciously forgave Isaac and we went home.
We did not go to Daily Mass, as all of the school children go on Wednesdays and I cannot be around that big of a crowd yet...
As we sat eating lunch together, Isaac asked me...
"Mommy, is your heart was still broken?"
"Don't let it be broken....I fix it.....It's not broken...."
I did not understand what he was talking about, as we had played cars just before lunch and all seemed well. We had a great time.
I asked him....
"Why would Mommy's heart be broken Isaac?"
"Because, I was not listening at church yesterday"
What a consollation from our Lord that Isaac knows and remembers what he is being taught and that all of the humility that I experienced at Mass the day before, was not in vain......that he had been taught a lesson and that he CARED so much about my heart being hurt.
Jesus blessed me with this great consolation.....Isaac IS listening, even though sometimes it seems frustrating as I feel like I am not getting anywhere with him!!
"Perseverence kerry"......is what Jesus gently and repeatedly whispers in my heart (about being a mom and about A LOT of different things in my life.
Motherhood is such a wonderlfuly fulfilling vocation
(a wife and a mommy is all that I ever wanted to be)
But how hard it is to be a mom.
Jesus calls mothers to be conscientious in the raising these precious souls, that He has entrusted to us.
He desires for us to patiently and lovingly take our time and energy to teach these little ones right from wrong.....over and over and OVER again!
In spiritual direction, Charlene (a beautiful Consecrated bride of Christ and my amazing spiritual director) once told me, as I tearfully sought her advice on an issue with my children not getting along very well
"It breaks my heart when they hurt each other's feelings"
I complained how NOTHING that I tried had worked. Charlene so kindly responded.....
"kerry, your solution didn't NOT work, it just hasn't worked YET."
What a God inspired truth. How many times do WE as adults try to fix something in our own selves.....seven times? Seventy times seven times! We are hard creatures to form and stick to promises that we make, to better ourselves. The world destracts us time and time again
It gave me hope and comfort to not become discouraged nor disheartened, but to keep persevering no matter what.
God is still working in our children just as He is working in us.
This Lent was full of many valuable teachings and opportunities to live out my vocation(s) as a wife, mother, sister, daughter, and frien......
as a TRUE child of God.
Dear Lord Jesus, my Father, and my Teacher,
Thank You for guiding me through this life with wonderful people whom You have sent to minister to me, forming me into a more desireable version of myself....that is more pleasing to You.
I long to be Your true delight in each and every way. Thank You for this time of Lent as we transform our hearts and souls in preparation for Your Greastest Sacrifice for us, Your Eternal and Triumphant Glory over evil, and Your greatest gift to us.
Thank You for loving me so much as to never give up on me. I love You and I promise to spend my entire life praying for You to transform me into what truly gladdens You
My Dear Lord Jesus.......Please love me as i am.....but too much to leave me this way