Tuesday, January 30

I CHOOSE JOY

I CHOOSE JOY
(My little sweet baby girl in the ICU this morning at 6:30am)

I was completely empty and heartbroken all day yesterday. I did not want to go to sleep because I always sleep nose to nose with my sweet Gracie Ann each night, so that I can feel her warm little baby breaths on my face, which comforts me knowing that she is okay. 

This morning at 6:30 AM I got a call from Jeremy (he spent the night in the ICU) He told me that Gracie Ann had a very rough night and was just struggling so much to breathe. 

My heart was already broken, but somehow managed to break all over again as I worried for her, with every bit of strength that I had left!

Through an OCEAN of tears, I prayed to Jesus, praising Him as He is truly Lord of all, while pleading with Him to help my baby's little lungs breathe. 
At about 8:00am, when Madison got up to the ICU (she gets to sit with Gracie Ann today) Gracie Ann was no longer on an oxygen mask…She only had the oxygen cannula in her nose. 
Madison called me right away and said that she was holding her own with only the cannula and that the nurses were discussing the possibility of her moving out of the ICU and into a normal hospital room. 

My heart fluttered with immense joy and I again praised Jesus for all that He does for His children. 

Then I stopped for a moment and had to decide whether I would allow myself to rejoice or if I needed to brace myself in case of bad news. 

At that moment, I was reminded that when there is joy celebrate it, and when their sorrow be sad. So I chose joy!!!  For now, my precious baby is getting better!
(My little sweet baby girl in the ICU this morning at 8:00am)

I am so grateful for all of you praying for our little Gracie Ann.  Knowing that so many of the faithful were lifting her up, gave me the comfort that I needed to make it through yesterday (truthfully I was barely existing)

Praise you Jesus… Merciful Lord Jesus, Who is the Alpha and the Omega..the Beginning and the End. He Is Who Is!!
I will glorify You Lord, always, no matter what the outcome….Because all in all, I only pray for Your perfect Will to be done. 
Even if Your Will is painful, I still desire You over everything else. Because “Without You Lord, to whom would I go?”