Thursday, December 8



My sweet little Isaac is sick!  It started with a little cough over the weekend, so we just had him wear a mask when he was around me
 He actually really enjoyed it and wanted to wear it at first because he sees the big kids/mom and dad wearing them
In the end, this proved to be hard for obvious reasons.....he's a toddler

After seeing that he couldn't physically keep the mask on....even though he tried, I decided to wear the mask and I just tried to keep my distance, which is really difficult for a mommy to do, when her little one is sick! 
I have always taken care of my sick little ones like only a mommy can (it was imbedded into our maternal hearts at the time we were created).  I love to snuggle my children so tightly up against my chest while I sing to them or whisper in their little ears, wipe their runny noses and watery eyes, clean their faces, etc...I get complete and utter joy out of serving my family in this way.  Again.....It is just what mommies do!

Well, it is a different time now for me as my immunity is so greatly compromised post transplant.  When I get sick and am admitted to the hospital, everyone in our family suffers, so I am terrified of catching anything that I cannot fend off (which is really ANY virus or infection)

I know that Jesus is asking me to sacrifice this motherly act of service, as a special and prayerful offering to Him, to use for whatever He desires, and I will always say yes to my Almighty and Perfect Father.
So, I did my best to keep away from Isaac, hoping that he would not notice.

But yesterday, little Isaac's symptoms worsened.....His cough was much deeper and he was sneezing and sniffling almost constantly. He was complaining of ear pain....and late into the night, he started to throw up!  We tried everything to help him feel better so that he could sleep as he was SO TIRED!  He only wanted mommy, which is a GREAT blessing but I know that I must keep my distance.

  Everyone in the family took turns trying to comfort him as the night wore on and on!!  Isaac was so exhausted as he screamed out for Mommy.....we were ALL exhausted! I even tried to sleep in his room on his floor or on his "big boy" bed that sits near his crib, but he wasn't having any of that.....He wanted to be held because he was just feeling so yucky!
Savannah and Isaac snuggling
He would fall sleep for about 15-20minute stints and then wake himself up coughing, crying and/or throwing up.  Then he would start crying for mommy all over again

Poor baby boy......We were nearing the 4 o'clock am hour. Now he had thrown up all over the couch, four pillows, his two blankets, my clothes, his jammies and the area rug!
After some major clean up using vinegar, rags, and Lysol wipes as well as throwing in a load of laundry in both washing machines......we were ALL desperate and out of ideas!

We had been praying throughout this entire trial, but then I felt that my prayer needed to be offered for a different intention.  I took a moment (about 3 seconds) and prayed fervently to my Dear Jesus to protect me, as I needed to put myself at risk and snuggle this suffering little soul so that he could finally fall into a peaceful asleep.
I went downstairs and got a mask on and I decided to put him into his "big boy" bed with me and that I would just sleep in my mask so as to try to minimize my exposure, as he sniffled and cried.

And he soon drifted off to sleep.  Nicholas came into check on us a little while later and took this picture that I will treasure for a lifetime.
When I talked to Jeremy later in the morning, we just had to smile (tiredly) and think of how we would never forget that night and how many times we would tell that story.

It took almost the entire 20 years of marriage and 5 kids to get to this point of calmness....and we still struggle a lot.

I always tell my kids (and anyone else that will listen) 
 That is going to be the difference of whether you look back at your day feeling regret or rejoice
Our souls were designed to be virtuous in all accounts.  It is something that takes practice for sure.....a continued practice for life, indeed.

 Dr. Gomez so graciously saw Isaac this morning and put him on 3 different medications to help my little one feel better.  He is so tired today.  He fell asleep on the way home......
 Still sucking on his lollipop 

Isaac and Mommy
I prayed that Isaac would still have a bond with me, even after me being so sick and then gone from our house so long, as there was a time when Isaac favored just about everyone but me.  I understood why he might feel this way and offered it up to Jesus as a beautiful but difficult cross, while experiencing my heart silently braking inside of my chest.

Jesus has so graciously answered this prayer, as Isaac is always seeking "mommy" out to help him with just about everything, and now we are even able to really play together.  Isaac wants mommy to help him eat, change his diaper, find a missing toy, sit with him as he watches a show, and put him to sleep.  I could not be more grateful for this blessing.

I have never had to be away from my children at such an early age.....I took my children everywhere with me!  I have worried about the bond between Isaac and myself and have again been humbled by my Father's Perfection and Divinity.
See, all I know about reality,  encompasses time and space.  I constantly need to remind myself that Christ knows no time or space.  He is Above All substance and matter, all reason and sense, there is no earthy perimeter  that He does not have command over.

Dear Jesus,
Thank you for being Mighty and for blessing me so greatly
I love you
kerry ann